When a man is “called” into the ministry should things really change? Now don’t get me wrong, it is obvious that when a man enters the pastorate there are clearly unique duties and purposes, but should the overall purpose or duties of his life change that drastically?
First, the Bible is clear that EVERY man is to take care of his family ahead of his other duties. This care includes provisions for their daily needs, such as food, clothing, shelter, educations and so on. 1 Timothy 5:8 makes it crystal clear that God expects men to care for their family’s needs, but surely those needs go beyond just physical needs. God requires EVERY man to care for his wife and children spiritually and emotionally as well. Yet, many pastors misplace their priorities and ignore the needs of their wife and children, For instance, it is often expected that the pastor’s wife, regardless of the home situation, be very involved in the leadership of certain aspects of the church, such as heading up ladies’ meetings, organizing the nursery, playing the piano, and so on. Yet NOWHERE in the Bible does God ever, by mandate or example, show that the church gets a “two for one” when it comes to hiring the pastor and his family. Name one pastor's wife in the Bible? You cannot as NONE as listed. Should a pastor’s wife minister in the church? Absolutely, yes! But not because she is the pastor’s wife, but because she is a member of the church and all members should be serving their local body! A pastor ought NEVER to require his wife to do more than the women of the church are willing to do themselves.
Second, pastors often ignore their own spiritual growth and development in exchange for prepping messages for their people. Be honest, pastors, when was the last time you found some great truth in devotional time and built a sermon around it? Don’t misunderstand, we should share what God has shared with us, but we should also enjoy what God shares with us personally as if it was something just for us sometimes too. Let me give an illustration - if a man found a great fishing spot that no one knew about, would he share it with everyone? NO! Because it is his special place! Again, let me be clear, God’s truths are meant to be shared, but sometimes we pastors need to have a precious devotional time with our Lord and our first thought ought not to be how to share it with our church. Brethren, these things ought so to be as God wants us to have some things special with Him. Look at the fourth commandment this way - God wants us to set aside a day so that we can be in fellowship with Him without the distractions of the rest of the week. Sunday is our special day with God and devotions should be our special time with God just the same and not the foundation for sermons.
Third, telling people you cannot help them when they are looking to you instead of God. This is, to me, the hardest one to write about, because I truly love people and want to help them. But the problem is that helping them sometimes means telling them you cannot meet with them or help them until they “help themselves” in their walk with God. So many pastors drop everything, including their family’s needs, to go “minister” to someone who is desperate and that person has no intention of actually reprioritizing their life and we pastors know it. Yet we drop our family, our personal needs, and off we go out of duty to the call. Again, it needs to be understood that we are called to serve and sometimes that means placing church families ahead of your own plans. But there are people who are “high maintenance” and they will never grow until they make serving the Lord THEIR priority. Pastors, you cannot make people put God first in their lives by putting your family and your personal spiritual development last! Make sure that you, pastor, and your family are where they need to be and God will bless your ministry in a greater way.
Remember that Jesus told His disciples that a person must care for their own issues before they can care for the issues of others. Matthew 7:5 “…first cast out the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.”