When People Leave Churches Over Personal Reasons and Not Doctrine

Over the years here at Valley we have seen many folks come and go. Many have come because they appreciated the strong stand we take about sin in our world and our strong stance about the Word of God, but too often they then leave when they find an area in which they personally dislike. Most of the time this discomfort is not doctrine but a personal opinion over our church's unique Baptist views or over the leadership's right to set the tone in certain areas. My question is when does a person have a right to leave a church over a personal issue?

In the early days of Christianity, you know the days in the book of Acts, there were not multiple churches to choose from in a community. Ephesus did not have First Baptist, Victory Baptist, Community Baptist, Cornerstone Baptist, and Grace Baptist, it just had one church - the "baptistic" church at Ephesus. These early believers did not leave their church every time they did not get their way to go to another because there was no other church to go to. They worked through their differences and they and the church grew because of it.
But today, because we have churches of every stripe around us, we have a mentality that says, "I want my way or I'm going another way." We too often expect church to adapt to us and not the other way around. 

Folks don't, as a general rule, leave fundamental churches because of doctrinal error being taught but because their feelings were hurt. They leave because communion is not the way they want, because the songs are too slow, because the songs are too fast, because the songs are on a screen instead of a book, because they can't sing in the choir without being a member, because the preacher pointed out the error in a popular book everyone is reading, because the church won't speak against a certain issue, because the church speaks too much about a certain issue, because the preacher tells too many jokes, because the preacher is too serious, and so on. They leave because they have not found what THEY WANTED in their church.

But is that a reason to leave a church?

Just as a quick personal thought before proceeding - what if God acted the same way with us? What if He saw in us something He did not like and decided to walk away? What if when we did less than He expected He gave up on us and decided to work with someone else? But of course, He wouldn't do that since He knows we are human and are going to fail, yet many refuse to give the church the same consideration.

We must recognize that churches are made of fallible people just like us and thus it can never be what every single person "desires" it to be. We must also recognize that it is easier for us as individuals to adapt to the church as whole than for the whole church to adapt to every person...and to be honest this concept it more biblical as well. In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul said he adapted to meet the needs of those who he was trying to reach. He did not expect them to adapt to him, but was willing to adapt to them.

And maybe therein is the problem with people leaving the church over personal issues. Those who are leaving were never trying to minister to the other folks in the church but were expecting all the others in the church to minister to them. Maybe they assumed that their needs were the only needs everyone in the church should be concerned about, while the needs of the rest of the church go unmet. Maybe they thought that the church was intentionally ignoring them because the church did not care, instead of realizing there are other people whom they could have been ministering to instead.

You see the problem is that too often we judge a church not by what we are doing for the other people of the church but by what we expect them to do for us. Here are a couple of examples some churches face regularly:

1. If the church as a whole wants to hold closed communion (members only) and attendees are offended and leave because they felt isolated as non members, then the problem 
maybe the offended and not the church. Why not just join the church instead of leaving? 

2. If the church as a whole requires background checks for workers and some would rather leave than let their "personal business" become known, then maybe the problem is not with the church trying to do right but the easily offended who left. Why not accept that background checks are for the safety of the church as a whole?  

3. If the church asks faithfulness, tithing, and holy living of its workers then instead of leaving maybe we should adapt our thinking to what the needs and requirements of the church are. Why not simply submit to being holy and faithful as the Bible commands?

Really, when it comes down to it, the root problem is that few people want to submit themselves to the needs and requirements of others. We see everything through our own eyes and not the eyes of others. We expect everyone to submit to our views and our needs and thus we leave a church, not because of doctrine, but because we have chosen to place our needs ahead of everyone else's.

Let me also just say this is passing, too often there are also those who will stay in a church, for whatever reason, but with a bitter heart because they cannot adapt to the church as a whole or the leadership's vision for that church. They will sit and stew in their own juices week after week instead of just letting go of their own personal opinions on unimportant issues and let the leadership lead and membership as a whole decide.
Just something to think about.

Do We Have the Right to Judge Another Person’s Doctrine?

In short, yes and no.  But let’s be more biblical than that.

In Luke 12, Jesus knew that his doctrine was causing a division among the people and the religious leaders of the day and yet he did not try to stop the division.  Actually he spoke to his disciples in the first twelve verses to beware the doctrine of the Pharisees because it was hypocrisy.  Jesus then speaks to the people in the latter part of the chapter about their inability to discern right and wrong.  He tells them they can judge the weather but don’t seem to be able to know sound doctrine.  This message is brought to climax when Jesus says in verse 57, “Yea, and why even of yourselves judge ye not what is right?”  He tells them to judge what is right.

Yes, we do have a biblical right/duty to judge sound doctrine, especially in the doctrine of those who are leading others astray.  An example in my estimation would be men like John Calvin who clearly taught much false doctrine, yet, his name is claimed by many today almost above their title of Christian.  As some examples:

John Calvin taught it was acceptable to execute those who opposed Calvinist doctrine, such as Michael Servetus, who rejected infant baptism which Calvin allowed and taught:

“But I am unwilling to pledge my word for his (Michael Servetus) safety, for if he shall come [to Geneva], I shall never permit him to depart alive, provided my authority be of any avail.” - Bonnet and Gilchrist, Letters of John Calvin: Compiled From the Original Manuscripts and Edited With Historical Notes, 2:19.

John Calvin said at the trial of Michael Servetus:

“I hope that the verdict will call for the death penalty.” - http://www.the-highway.com/servetus_Boettner.html

John Calvin taught that the Lord’s Supper was a part of salvation: 

The “Eucharist provided the “undoubted assurance of eternal life to our minds, but also secures the immortality of our flesh.” - Calvin’s “Institutes of the Christian Religion,” 4.17.32.

When I point out the error in John Calvin, I am within my biblical rights as Jesus admonished in Luke 12 as both these doctrines, as other Calvin taught, are not biblical doctrine.

However…

I cannot judge whether Calvin, because of his doctrines, was condemned to hell and that is the “NO” part of the answer to the original question.

You see, though it is biblical to say whether a person’s doctrine is sound, because, the Bible clearly outlines what is sound doctrine.  It is wrong to judge another person’s salvation because of their supposed doctrine alone.  Now mind you, it is fair to say “IF a person believes their salvation is by works, then they are not saved,” but the key to that is the  word “IF.”  Salvation is a personal decision and a personal work of God in the life of an individual heart and life.  Philippians 2:12 makes it very clear that we are to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”  Nowhere are we to allowed to judge another man’s salvation, even based upon unsound doctrine.

Can a person with certain unsound doctrines be saved?  The answer is yes, IF they have accepted in their hearts what God’s Word requires for their salvation - by grace through faith in God’s Son, Jesus, through His death, burial, and resurrection and this faith reflected in our repentance of sins.  Ephesians 2:8-9; John 3:16; Romans 3:23, 6:23, 5:8, 10:13.  

Was John Calvin doctrinally right? NO!  Was John Calvin saved? That is between John Calvin and God.  I have judged but not judged his doctrine..so, yes and no.

How to Know False Doctrine When You Hear It

Every group that claims to be Christian will say they believe in sound doctrine.  You will never hear a minister or Bible teacher stand up and say, “What I am about to teach is heresy and should be rejected.”   Christian authors never write that they are about to misuse the Word of God and teach you something God hates.

Yet each of these things happen in practice everyday as ministers stand in pulpits and preach heresy as do authors write false doctrine in book after book.  So what is the average layman to do?

Peter warned of this situation is 2 Peter 2 as even in his day false teachers were bringing in “privily” or secretly false doctrine.  He gave a warning to these false teachers and then two points of proof for the layman to know who is a false teacher.

First, Peter told in 2 Peter 2:4-22 that false teachers will he held accountable by God Himself as was done to the people of Noah’s day, the wicked of Sodom and Gomorrha, and even Balaam.  Peter told them God hates a false teachers as they revert His truth and mislead the people whom Jesus came to save.  So if you are a teacher of the Bible….BE VERY CAREFUL!

Second, Peter gave two basic guidelines to know whether a preacher/teacher is teaching truth or not:

1. False doctrine will always give the flesh permission to feed its lusts.  In 2 Peter 2:10 Peter warns that these “walk after the flesh” and live in the “lust of uncleanness” and that they are “self willed” which “speak evil of “dignities.”  Let me clarify dignities here as that really covers the entire issue of fleshly lusts being the motivation of false teachings.  The word dignities is the word “doxa” or glory of God.  You may have heard of the “Doxology” which is a short hymn that praises the greatness of God.  It is named after this word, doxa.  “Doxa,” dignities here, is the to be the central focus of all we do and teach.  So if someone speaks evil, or vainly attacks, that the glory of God is paramount then they are going to teach that the flesh is to be exalted and thus they are false teachers teaching false doctrine.  This is why Peter uses Sodom, Balaam, and the even the people of Noah’s day to illustrate this point.  Each of these placed their own desires ahead of the glory of God.  Beware when a teacher/preacher downplays that God’s glory is to be the central focus of all we do.
2. False doctrine will always seek to exalt the knowledge of man over the simplicity of God’s truth. In 2 Peter 2:18-22, Peter warns that because of the flesh’s weakness, great swelling words can deceive into false doctrine.  Peter makes it clear that when someone tries to make you feel small because they are “smarter” than you then they are not from God.  God throughout His Word warns that His truths are “foolish” so as to confound the “wisdom” of tis world.  This does not mean God’s truths are easy to grasp or that His Creation isn’t complex, but that His desire is to make the truth of God accessible.  Read 1 Corinthians 1:18-25

God’s doctrine is vast but it is clear and concise and holy not vague or fleshly as false doctrine is taught to be.