Over the years here at Valley we have seen many folks come and go. Many have come because they appreciated the strong stand we take about sin in our world and our strong stance about the Word of God, but too often they then leave when they find an area in which they personally dislike. Most of the time this discomfort is not doctrine but a personal opinion over our church's unique Baptist views or over the leadership's right to set the tone in certain areas. My question is when does a person have a right to leave a church over a personal issue?
In the early days of Christianity, you know the days in the book of Acts, there were not multiple churches to choose from in a community. Ephesus did not have First Baptist, Victory Baptist, Community Baptist, Cornerstone Baptist, and Grace Baptist, it just had one church - the "baptistic" church at Ephesus. These early believers did not leave their church every time they did not get their way to go to another because there was no other church to go to. They worked through their differences and they and the church grew because of it.
But today, because we have churches of every stripe around us, we have a mentality that says, "I want my way or I'm going another way." We too often expect church to adapt to us and not the other way around.
Folks don't, as a general rule, leave fundamental churches because of doctrinal error being taught but because their feelings were hurt. They leave because communion is not the way they want, because the songs are too slow, because the songs are too fast, because the songs are on a screen instead of a book, because they can't sing in the choir without being a member, because the preacher pointed out the error in a popular book everyone is reading, because the church won't speak against a certain issue, because the church speaks too much about a certain issue, because the preacher tells too many jokes, because the preacher is too serious, and so on. They leave because they have not found what THEY WANTED in their church.
But is that a reason to leave a church?
Just as a quick personal thought before proceeding - what if God acted the same way with us? What if He saw in us something He did not like and decided to walk away? What if when we did less than He expected He gave up on us and decided to work with someone else? But of course, He wouldn't do that since He knows we are human and are going to fail, yet many refuse to give the church the same consideration.
We must recognize that churches are made of fallible people just like us and thus it can never be what every single person "desires" it to be. We must also recognize that it is easier for us as individuals to adapt to the church as whole than for the whole church to adapt to every person...and to be honest this concept it more biblical as well. In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul said he adapted to meet the needs of those who he was trying to reach. He did not expect them to adapt to him, but was willing to adapt to them.
And maybe therein is the problem with people leaving the church over personal issues. Those who are leaving were never trying to minister to the other folks in the church but were expecting all the others in the church to minister to them. Maybe they assumed that their needs were the only needs everyone in the church should be concerned about, while the needs of the rest of the church go unmet. Maybe they thought that the church was intentionally ignoring them because the church did not care, instead of realizing there are other people whom they could have been ministering to instead.
You see the problem is that too often we judge a church not by what we are doing for the other people of the church but by what we expect them to do for us. Here are a couple of examples some churches face regularly:
1. If the church as a whole wants to hold closed communion (members only) and attendees are offended and leave because they felt isolated as non members, then the problem
maybe the offended and not the church. Why not just join the church instead of leaving?
2. If the church as a whole requires background checks for workers and some would rather leave than let their "personal business" become known, then maybe the problem is not with the church trying to do right but the easily offended who left. Why not accept that background checks are for the safety of the church as a whole?
3. If the church asks faithfulness, tithing, and holy living of its workers then instead of leaving maybe we should adapt our thinking to what the needs and requirements of the church are. Why not simply submit to being holy and faithful as the Bible commands?
Really, when it comes down to it, the root problem is that few people want to submit themselves to the needs and requirements of others. We see everything through our own eyes and not the eyes of others. We expect everyone to submit to our views and our needs and thus we leave a church, not because of doctrine, but because we have chosen to place our needs ahead of everyone else's.
Let me also just say this is passing, too often there are also those who will stay in a church, for whatever reason, but with a bitter heart because they cannot adapt to the church as a whole or the leadership's vision for that church. They will sit and stew in their own juices week after week instead of just letting go of their own personal opinions on unimportant issues and let the leadership lead and membership as a whole decide.
Just something to think about.
In the early days of Christianity, you know the days in the book of Acts, there were not multiple churches to choose from in a community. Ephesus did not have First Baptist, Victory Baptist, Community Baptist, Cornerstone Baptist, and Grace Baptist, it just had one church - the "baptistic" church at Ephesus. These early believers did not leave their church every time they did not get their way to go to another because there was no other church to go to. They worked through their differences and they and the church grew because of it.
But today, because we have churches of every stripe around us, we have a mentality that says, "I want my way or I'm going another way." We too often expect church to adapt to us and not the other way around.
Folks don't, as a general rule, leave fundamental churches because of doctrinal error being taught but because their feelings were hurt. They leave because communion is not the way they want, because the songs are too slow, because the songs are too fast, because the songs are on a screen instead of a book, because they can't sing in the choir without being a member, because the preacher pointed out the error in a popular book everyone is reading, because the church won't speak against a certain issue, because the church speaks too much about a certain issue, because the preacher tells too many jokes, because the preacher is too serious, and so on. They leave because they have not found what THEY WANTED in their church.
But is that a reason to leave a church?
Just as a quick personal thought before proceeding - what if God acted the same way with us? What if He saw in us something He did not like and decided to walk away? What if when we did less than He expected He gave up on us and decided to work with someone else? But of course, He wouldn't do that since He knows we are human and are going to fail, yet many refuse to give the church the same consideration.
We must recognize that churches are made of fallible people just like us and thus it can never be what every single person "desires" it to be. We must also recognize that it is easier for us as individuals to adapt to the church as whole than for the whole church to adapt to every person...and to be honest this concept it more biblical as well. In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul said he adapted to meet the needs of those who he was trying to reach. He did not expect them to adapt to him, but was willing to adapt to them.
And maybe therein is the problem with people leaving the church over personal issues. Those who are leaving were never trying to minister to the other folks in the church but were expecting all the others in the church to minister to them. Maybe they assumed that their needs were the only needs everyone in the church should be concerned about, while the needs of the rest of the church go unmet. Maybe they thought that the church was intentionally ignoring them because the church did not care, instead of realizing there are other people whom they could have been ministering to instead.
You see the problem is that too often we judge a church not by what we are doing for the other people of the church but by what we expect them to do for us. Here are a couple of examples some churches face regularly:
1. If the church as a whole wants to hold closed communion (members only) and attendees are offended and leave because they felt isolated as non members, then the problem
maybe the offended and not the church. Why not just join the church instead of leaving?
2. If the church as a whole requires background checks for workers and some would rather leave than let their "personal business" become known, then maybe the problem is not with the church trying to do right but the easily offended who left. Why not accept that background checks are for the safety of the church as a whole?
3. If the church asks faithfulness, tithing, and holy living of its workers then instead of leaving maybe we should adapt our thinking to what the needs and requirements of the church are. Why not simply submit to being holy and faithful as the Bible commands?
Really, when it comes down to it, the root problem is that few people want to submit themselves to the needs and requirements of others. We see everything through our own eyes and not the eyes of others. We expect everyone to submit to our views and our needs and thus we leave a church, not because of doctrine, but because we have chosen to place our needs ahead of everyone else's.
Let me also just say this is passing, too often there are also those who will stay in a church, for whatever reason, but with a bitter heart because they cannot adapt to the church as a whole or the leadership's vision for that church. They will sit and stew in their own juices week after week instead of just letting go of their own personal opinions on unimportant issues and let the leadership lead and membership as a whole decide.
Just something to think about.
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