Is It Wrong to Complain?

I was raised to “suck it up” when it came to certain things.  For example, when I was a young child my parents would rarely ever complain about anything in a restaurant, even if the waiter served the wrong meal.  I can remember my mother saying, “I’ll eat it anyway,” when cold food or a plate of food she had not ordered was set before her.  Now mind you, it did not happen often, but when it did, it really seemed to mean nothing to them.  They would express that this event wasn’t worth complaining about it and that we should just eat the food served.  To be honest, I did notice as my parents got older they also got bolder, as they, before their deaths, seemed to have found their voice to express their displeasure more often at being served improperly.  But as a child, I have a clear memory of them allowing themselves to be mis-served on numerous occasions and saying nothing.  They had taught me by this example that complaining about everything wasn’t right.

So I ask you today - when is it wrong to complain?

The dictionary defines “complain” as follows:

1. to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault:

He complained constantly about the noise in the corridor.

2. to tell of one's pains, ailments, etc.:

to complain of a backache.

3. to make a formal accusation:

If you think you've been swindled, complain to the police.

Some might argue that it is never right for a godly believer to complain, but the Bible seems to give a different view.  For instance, the word “complain” is used four times in the Bible, and half of those times were by godly Job in the midst of his suffering (Job 7:11 & 31:38).  The word “complaint” is only used nine times in the Scriptures and of those nine five were also spoken by Job, the man God called “perfect” in Job 7:13, 9:27, 10:1, 21:4, & 23:2.  Clearly the Apostle Paul “complained” about the unfair accusations of the Jewish leaders in Acts 24:10-14 and of his unjust beating as a Roman citizen in Acts 22:25-29.  Jesus seems to be “complaining” about the wrong motivation of the Jewish hypocrite leaders in Matthew 23:1-13.  Although Jesus does says to obey their rules (Matthew 23:3) he commands the people not follow to their hearts.  So clearly “complaining” is not out of bounds for the believer in certain areas, but do we have a license to complain about EVERYTHING that bothers us? 

Rather than give where those boundaries are in complaining, let’s just look at a few Bible verses that talk about being content and then let the Lord help you draw the line where complaints are warranted:

1. Paul refused to complain about God’s care of him in Philippians 4:10-13.  He stated that God had taught him to do without and to deal with having more than he needed.
2. God inspired Paul to admonish young Pastor Timothy to learn that financial wealth is not going to worthy of a complaint in 1 Timothy 6:6-10.  Here Paul says that “contentment” is clearly the godly reaction when it comes to not having the finances that other might have.
3. The believers at Corinth had clearly done wrong when they had chosen to go to the civil courts when another believer had somehow done them a harm.  In 1 Corinthians 6:7-11, Paul tells them it is better to be “defrauded” than always get their own way.  He then compares a person seeking to get their own way all the time to some of the most ungodly type people you can name.
4. Once again we find Paul encouraging a church to act properly when it comes to their gratefulness, as in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.  Here he tells the believers to “give thanks” IN everything, not for everything.
5. Finally, how about Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5?  Here he teaches the people the there are going to be things that do not go our way and we are going to be “blessed” when we learn to deal with these in a spiritual reaction, such as being “merciful” and then in return receiving mercy.

I wish I could get the balance right when it comes to complaining.  I know there is a time to speak up, but, I also must accept that there is also a time to remain silent about my care and treatment.  However, for me, I am afraid that too often my flesh gets in the way and I complain too much when I should be silently content.  To be honest, I don’t think I am erring on the side of not enough complaining, but clearly complain more than I should.  I pray that these few verses above will at least give us pause to think about a godly response before we complain next time.