Communication: Our Greatest Weakness in Ministry

Recently I sent an email to about 100 pastors asking for their input about their ministry.  Basic questions like - what would you like other churches to know about your ministry?  Now I realize that many pastors are not technology savvy and many get hundreds of emails everyday so I did not expect all 100 to respond back.  However, I did expect more than the 8 to acknowledge back to my query, with one of those 8 including one of my own church's staff!  That really was a surprise to be honest, as it was not a major questionnaire, actually just 4 questions, and it was to pastors that I thought I had a good connection with.  Now mind you I may still hear from them in the future but to be honest I doubt that the number will grow much further.  

Yet I am not alone in this issue.

I was talking to a veteran missionary a couple of months ago and he said it has gotten hard to get pastors to respond to correspondence.  He said on average he must contact a pastor at least three times before the pastor responds to him, and that is not just via email but through other means as well.  He said that it is not uncommon for three or four phone messages to be left before a pastor responds back and even more when it comes to text messages or emails.  When he said that I began to search my routine to see if I could have been “one of those pastors” and at times regretfully I am.  I know pastors are busy, but really is this acceptable?

It seems to me that for a generation that has access to immediate communication, via cell phones and internet, we do not communicate in a timely fashion very well.  It is true that missionaries of the past had to wait for months for written replies from their home pastors, but we do not live in that past.  Also we expect immediate replies when it comes to what we are seeking, so why shouldn’t we not act in kind?  Our timely communication needs work for sure!

But along with delayed communication we also have dazed communication.  Because when we do communicate it seems that sometimes we either do not communicate effectively or people’s ability to grasp what is being said has slipped as well.  How often do we have to explain our actions and motives again and again to people?  For instance, I was called into question the other day by a salesman who said I was threatening his business by a negative review, when the truth was I had already left a positive review of the transaction and his business and I had told him so.  It took me several minutes to get him to understand that I had already given him positive marks and so I wanted him to know I was glad to do business with him.  For some reason he thought my pointing out the positive review was a threat that I was going to change it to negative.  He finally understood, but only after he read the review for himself!

There are two categories of communication; communication with God and communication with mankind.  When Elijah was running from the wicked queen he entered a cave and waited to hear from God.  While there the prophet did not hear God in the major events, such as wind, fire or earthquake, but he finally did hear God speaking "in a still small voice" (1 Kings 19:9-12).  I submit to you that if we cannot effectively communicate with people standing in front of us how can we communicate effectively with God Who speaks in a still small voice?  Communication is not just talking or hearing, but understanding. 

I truly think there are some wonderful biblical truths we must grasp about our communication:

1. Learn to at least respond to every individual that communicates with us, even if its a simple acknowledgement.  In this day of mass emails this can be tricky, but really I can’t see Jesus ignoring real people, asking real questions, or seeking real advise (John 6:35).  I am trying to at least call back every missionary that leaves a message, even if I cannot have them to present their ministry.  I think it’s just common courtesy.
2. Ask questions when we see that what we are saying is not being understood.  Yes, this takes time, but it’s an investment in people (Matthew 16:13 & John 8:10).  We need to find out where people are in their understanding instead of just assuming that because we grasp something a certain way that all people grasp the same way.  This takes patience.
3. Assume that when we speak we are going to be misunderstood so extra explanation is always going to be needed.  This saves us from being frustrated when we have to take the extra time to explain again and again something.  Notice how often the Bible tells us that Jesus spake “again” something (Matthew 22:1; Luke 13:20; John 8:21).  To be honest, too often our goal is to say something and then move on instead of being sure that what we are trying to say in being understood.
4. Pray for communication to improve on the part of the listener and the hearer.  The Spirit of God can fill in the holes of misunderstanding so much better than we (Acts 2:4).  Ask Him to direct your words and your listening in any given situation.
5. Try to use the fewest words possible to explain anything.  The more words the more confusion can take place (Matthew 6:7 & 1 Corinthians 14:19).  I heard it said about preachers, “get up - speak up - shut up - sit down.”  Remember that Paul’s long sermon  killed a man (Acts 20:9 - of course this is pointed out tongue in cheek).
6. Give people the benefit of the doubt either when someone else talking or when they listening.  In other words, put the other person first in your thinking when you are trying to communicate (Philippians 2:3).
7. Filter every word we speak through the Spirit of God and God’s Word.  Someone said it this way, “Taste every word before you say it.  If it is sour or bitter, swallow it.  If it is sweet and wholesome, then allow it to proceed out of your mouth.” (Psalm 19:14)

Satan is a master communicator as he has the ability to relay his message loud and clear.  But God is a better communicator since He speaks to heart in a way that no other being can.  Let’s rely on Him for our voice and our understanding of others communication, but let’s also do our part to seek to communicate effectively and courteously.