Over the past several years the prefix “mis” has grown in its regular usage as an attachment to just about every word imaginable to give a license for some to cover their failures, such as misremember, mistaken, and misspoke.
Baseball great Roger Clemens said under oath that his trainer, Andy Pettitte, “misremembered” giving him steroid injections which of course was later proven to be true. President George Bush said he “misremembered” some of the details of his military service in the Texas Air National Guard and was excoriated for it. What “misremember” has come to mean in many people’s minds is an excuse for an embellishment to cover a lie.
I was “mistaken.” This a phrase that is seldom used in our society today as it is an admission of failure, which no one wants to do anymore. That “mistake” may have been intentional or it may have been accidental, but, either way no one wants to follow the leadership of a failure, and so it is seldom used in the public forum. In February of 2017 Kellyanne Conway, a Trump advisor, admitted she was mistaken when she made some comments about the Bowling Greene Massacre, but, after she admitted that, she was brutally criticized for not getting her facts straight before she opened her mouth and her admission was used against her. The accusation may have been true but the reaction was overinflated to say the least.
Then there’s the dreaded “misspoke.” You have to look no further than the headlines to see politicians making drastic statements and then retracting them because they “misspoke.” Hillary Clinton for example said she “misspoke” about being under sniper fire in a 1996 Bosnian visit, when she actually landed in safety and never had to “run for cover.” Unfortunately for many people the word “misspoken” has come to mean an excuse for an embellishment that is really a lie. But the truth is that “misspeaking” can can happen to anyone who does a lot of public speaking.
And now we come to the role of pastor.
Let’s start this by saying that ANY pastor who clearly disqualifies himself morally or doctrinally from the ministry should be confronted and removed quickly. This would include any sexual deviance, ignoring of sexual behavior in other leadership, or doctrinal heresy. The ministry is about living out 1 Timothy 3 and God expects that to be obeyed.
However, a pastor must also be allowed to be human too. He is going to make the same type of “mis” type events in his life and ministry. For instance, a pastor will from time to time “misspeak” as he preaches multiple times in a week and will make verbal mistakes. However, if the heart of the listener is to fault find, then every misspeak will become that more glaring.
For instance, I did a study last night in mid-week service and referenced the “natural man” from Corinthians. I mistakenly said the “natural man” is the unregenerate flesh of both believer and unbeliever, which is not correct. It is the “carnal man” that is the flesh that drags both saved and unsaved into sin whereas the “natural man” is the unsaved man alone. It was an honest mistake and not an error of doctrine. During the service, I did not realize exactly what I had said wrong, but I knew I must have said something amiss because one attendee immediately began to feverishly leaf through their Bible in an unmistakable manner, as they do that every time I misspeak and will gladly come and tell me about it at some point. They are the kind of person who never says “Good message, Pastor” but instead ask “Pastor, did you mean this instead of what you said?” However, another person came and said, “Pastor, I thought ‘natural man’ was an unsaved person? Did I misunderstand?” The person were right,I misspoke, I corrected what I meant, and will try to correct it publicly soon. The first person over a period of time seems to have a critical heart whereas the second is a curious heart, for which I am thankful. I regretfully “misspeak” from time to time.
Pastors also make mistakes. A pastoral “mistake” is not born of a moral wrong or sinful intent, but in human frailty. It is the kind of thing that numerous verses speak in describing weakness - Matthew 26:41 and Romans 14:21. The flesh is weak and sometimes a pastor gets angry when he shouldn’t or forgets a promise he made to meet you. Pastors make mistakes too.
How about “misremembering?” Have you ever forgotten anything? How about something important, like a birthday or anniversary? When a pastor says he doesn’t remember something, he probably is not lying to cover something up, but admitting to something true - his mind doesn’t always work perfectly. My favorite verse about this subject is Hebrews 13:16 as the author says “…to do good and to communicate forget not…” In other words, he was saying we might forget if he doesn’t remind. Thus “misremembering” is human, right?
Your pastor is going to misremember, misspeak, and make mistakes. Why? Because he is human. I know that some pastors act like they are God’s gift to mankind and though that attitude is wrong to think of oneself, truly pastors are a gift. But everyone must remember that pastors are a frail human gift and not a perfect sinless one - that is God alone.
Just some practical tips for dealing with a pastor’s mistakes:
- Did he disqualify himself biblically from the ministry by his actions or is this just a human error?
- Have I gone to him directly in love and asked about the mistake or did I just “stew” over his mistake?
- Do I regularly pray for my pastor to be clear and clean in his ministry and preaching?
- Am I looking for my pastor to be something he cannot be - perfect?
- Would I want someone to forgive me for the same failure that I am struggling to forgive that he committed?
- Are my expectations for my pastor realistic?
- Can I listen to what he meant to say or only focus on the “misspeak” he said?
This article is not to excuse sin in pastor’s life, but to show the fragility of ministry and our view of fallible pastors. Please pray for your pastor more than ever before as the day in which we live seems to grow more wicked by the moment.
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